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The heart of the matter is always the matter of the heart.

I don’t know who said that but to me, it makes sense.

And Jesus also points to that when He says “But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these things defile a man.” So my question to God on this topic was, “Lord, what’s in my heart and how should I response as a Christian who is white?” Here’s the verse He gave me:

Micah 6:8 – “He has shown you, O mankind, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you but to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?”

Act Justly

“No Justice, No Peace.”

We’ve seen these signs everywhere and it’s part of the mantra of the George Floyd Black Lives Matter Movement. As Christians, what does this mean for us? Where does seeking and demanding justice fall in line? As I examine the Bible, I see that our God is a God of Justice…He’s the Judge, therefore Justice is a part of His character. You can’t separate Justice from who God is. And we’re called to be imitators of God as beloved children. Therefore, if we’re children of God, there should be a desire in our hearts to walk, pursue and seek justice played out within our lives and for the lives of those who can’t speak, or their voice is drowned out and muffled.

When I was in Haiti, there was this guy who became a student of our school. He repented of his wicked ways, got baptized, he even got delivered from demonic oppression and I witnessed a wicked spirit come out from him. (If this troubles you, it shouldn’t…demonic and angelic activity is real, we in America like to give it medical labels and try to ignore this, but we simply can’t).

God was doing a great work in his life and then we found out that he had been robbing God and His people. There were funds set aside for building roofs for the poor communities in Haiti and we discovered he not only stole the materials, but also the money. When confronted, he denied it and tried to find a way out. He even threatened voodoo on another person and promised to get this person in prison.

He was unrepentant when confronted with sin, and quite frankly, I had become sick of seeing the injustice of Haitians to one another, and I was fed up. I took the matter into my own hands and filed a court order to take this guy in front of a judge, if nobody else was willing to stand up to him for fear, I most certainly would. After all, God wants us to defend the fatherless and help the orphan and widow, right? It was a day after I filed the order when my sweet daughter came up to me and asked a very simple question with the most pure conscience and no false motivations. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

“Daddy?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Do Christians take other Christians to court?”

SLAP.

Shamefully, I knew the answer, but decided I would try to cover it up by looking spiritual to my daughter.

“That’s a good question, I’ll have to look at what the Bible says,” I quickly retorted to cover my pierced conscience.

Deep down, I knew the answer was a resounding NO. But I decided to “check the Bible” just in case I found a loop-hole (lawyer reference not intended).

It’s kind of like those times when someone asks you something and you take the Christian cop-out by saying “I’ll pray about it” when you already know the answer or have no real intention of actually praying about it.

So to wrap this story up, I came to the conclusion that I already knew. No, it’s not encouraged, commanded or even recommended to ever take another Christian to court in the New Testament. So I dropped the charges the morning of the day it was supposed to begin.

I was so frustrated…I knew I didn’t stand a chance in Haitian Court with another Haitian, let alone a Haitian who is super deeply connected to the government and law officers already.

I felt helpless…when God spoke to me and said, “Aaron, you have the right heart towards My people, but you chose the wrong method.”

In Luke 18:1-8, Jesus tells of a story of a widow before an unrighteous judge who neither fears God nor respects man. Jesus basically says the widow annoys him long enough that he answers her and gives JUSTICE to her from her adversaries. Jesus then says we should always pray and never lose heart and that even though it seems God delays in executing justice for his people who cry out “day and night,” He will do it speedily…Nonetheless, will the Son of Man find faith when He comes?

Hmmmm. I could have been okay without that last verse Jesus.

Are we seeking justice with the right methods? Are we doing it the right way? What if for every minute we posted or for every minute we protested, we spend that time praying to the God of justice?

What if we actually believed God would bring about justice for us if we asked Him long enough by faith instead of thinking He wouldn’t and trying to take matters into our own hands?

I’m not necessarily saying you shouldn’t post on social media, or protest peacefully, or move to enact new bills and laws that protect against racial injustice.

I believe new laws should be established. However, are we, as Christians, thinking that the government is really going to fix all of our problems? I wonder if we are looking to the government to be our Savior instead of looking to the One who is?

Proverbs 29:6 – “Many seek the ruler’s favor, But justice for man comes from the Lord.“

God’s children were enslaved for 400 years. Moses tried to bring about justice. He killed an Egyptian. Right heart. Wrong method.

God redirected him, and brought him to a place where he could use him to execute justice the way He wants.

Seek Justice…but do it God’s way.

Love Mercy

Mercy – Compassion shown toward someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm.

aka: “not giving someone the punishment they deserve.”

I was at a gathering of close to 50 men one night. I had only been back from Haiti for 5 months or so. I was talking to a group of other men and this gathering was purposed for us to seek God, and have genuine fellowship with one another.

The topic of inviting someone over came up and one of the other men spoke up.  The person they wanted to invite over was a Haitian man from the town we lived in.

“Yes,” spoke one of the guys, “we should have invited so-and-so over (I’ll leave his name out).”

“Sure,” I said sarcastically, “only if you want to be manipulated, cheated, lied to and to then lose your wallet. That sounds great, let’s invite him!”

Open Mouth, Insert Foot.

I then recognized I had dug a hole I couldn’t get out of and saw there was another man who was part Haitian standing next to me who had just heard my blunt comment.

“At least that was my experience…” I said as I sheepishly tried to climb out of the hole, to no avail.

A few days later, God had a really great conversation with me.

“Aaron, are you so consumed with justice for this man, do you even want him to repent and receive My mercy?”

Silence…from me.

My Christianese wanted to say, “of course God,” but the Lord searches the heart and there is no thing hidden from Him.

I took an honest evaluation of my heart, and this was my heart response to God.

“No” “No….I don’t.” “God I want justice, I want him to get what’s coming to him. I want this man, who flirts with women to take advantage of them, who extorts children for personal profit, who blasphemes the name of Christ….I want this person to get what’s coming to him, Lord.”

“For judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful.” James 2:13

You see, my heart was covered with a thick layer of pain and I couldn’t get past it to actually see this person with God’s heart.

Enter Immediate Conviction of the Holy Spirit.

Here’s the verse that God gave me,

Exodus 34:6 – “And the Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, and abounding in goodness and truth…”

Yes, the next verse does say he by no means clears the guilty (justice) but the verse before it says he extends mercy to thousands while extending justice to the 3rd and 4th generation….

Thousands vs. 3rd and 4th generation?

That’s God speaking about Himself to Moses…and the very first thing He describes about His own character is “full of mercy”

Why is it that we often love justice and seek mercy?

Why is it, that we often cry out for others, “JUSTICE” but when it comes to our own lives, we cry out “MERCY?”

Has the cry of our hearts become louder for justice than mercy?

Have we become so consumed with justice, that we’ve forgotten mercy?

“Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” – Jesus.

Let’s remember that Jesus, while on the cross, being nailed, being persecuted, being murdered for a crime He never committed, while being forsaken, betrayed, rejected, stabbed in the back, denied, He cried out MERCY!!!!!….not justice…

Walk Humbly

Matthew 7:1-5 “pull out the plank in your own eye before removing the speck in your brother’s eye.”

I remember working at Furniture Row for 10 years. I had a successful career and my experience was amazing. Near the end of my career, I took a week long vacation. When I came back, I came back to the most rude awakening I ever had in my life and it’s effect would forever shape my future.

As I walked in I remember seeing my assistant manager (I had worked with her for 5 years now) acting a little differently. She was nervous. Back to the office we went and she began to explain that while I was gone on vacation, the entire staff had had a ‘bash Aaron Taylor party.’ Essentially. They gathered round during the team meeting and talked about all the wrong things I was doing and how crappy I was.

Just because someone is saying something in the wrong way doesn’t make the actual thing they’re saying untrue.

It felt like I got slapped in the face and my whole floor dropped from underneath me. My world just got turned upside down and it felt like I couldn’t move, yet wanted to scream and run away. I remember thinking to myself, “if I have enough money in my savings, I’m done, I quit. After 10 years of giving my life to this company, I’m over it.”

Maybe that was my problem, I had given my life to an Organization, instead of giving it to a Person.

Well…I didn’t have enough money, so back to work I went.

Really….that moment was one of a couple absolutely crushing moments in my life. At the time I was so upset, full of rage, confusion and words probably best left out of this blog.

Now…looking back, I’m so thankful to God for that moment.

Later that week, I began scheduling one-on-one’s with everyone in the staff to address each person’s concerns.

I remember preparing in my office the hour before my very first meeting. It was with my senior salesman.

I began writing down everything he was doing wrong. I wrote down every part of his performance he was falling short of store requirements and all the ‘arrows’ I had to throw at him.

These were not opinions, they were facts, data supported my statements. I was loaded, ready to aim and fire. It was a full page of bullets. let’s do this, he’s gonna get his.

15 min. before the meeting, enter God.

“Aaron.”

“yes?”

“I want you to humble yourself, lay down that paper, point nothing out to him, and apologize for what you’ve done. I want you to apologize for how you’ve allowed the pursuit of success, wealth and the world’s definition of security to become an idol in your life. I want you to tell Him how you’ve left Me and that money has become your idol and then apologize to him.”

Silence…again from me towards God.

Really God? You want me just to roll over and let this guy have his way? Even though these are legit infractions he has done?

“yes.”

I’ve often found in my own life, I am so passionate about exercising my rights as an American Citizen, while in doing so, it is to the direct expense of exercising my rights as a child of God.

15 min later, meeting begins.

Enter – upset employee.

He begins to share about what’s going on and gets the “load” off of his chest and after 10 minutes or so of telling me all of the problems going on in the store (which he had valid points), he asked me a very provoking question, “What do you think the problem is Aaron?”

Silence…

This was the moment to obey God’s voice, or to reject His voice.

“you’re right,” I responded, “I’ve forsaken Jesus as my God and I’ve allowed, money, wealth, success to replace Him in my life. I’ve pushed people out of my way so that I can be the best and make the most. And I’m sorry that I’ve replaced Jesus as Lord. And I’m sorry that I hurt you.”

Drop the mouth (his…literally).

This was the turning point for me, and by the grace of God, I began to re-establish healthy relationships with the people I had run over by my drive for money and success. It was awesome.

It’s really easy to point the finger at others, I always tell my kids when they do that, they have 3 more fingers pointing right back at them.

It’s easy to see the sins of others, yet neglect our own.

Where do you fall short in light of a Holy God?

The Bible says if you’ve ever looked at a woman to “lust after her” you are an adulterer. And if you’ve ever hated your brother or sister in your heart, you are a murderer. So…according to God’s standard, we have all been adulterous murderers at some point in our lives….

Well, Aaron, I’m not THAT bad. I’m not as bad as that person who shot the black police officer who was trying to protect the pawn shop.

I’m not as bad as that white police officer who put his knee on George Floyd’s neck.

I’m not as bad as the violent rioters, or the person who shot this person, or this or that….the list goes on and on and on.

Really? The Bible actually says you’re good works are like “filthy rags” before God. Your best effort for goodness is like bringing a filthy, dirty, bloody rag before God and saying, “look at this, isn’t it awesome!” and it makes Him want to puke! It’s disgusting, revolting. (Isaiah 64:6)

Walk Humbly

Don’t be so quick to point out the flaws of others, make sure you evaluate your life, your heart and allow God to remove the deep dark issues that you don’t even recognize is there.

Maybe you’re walking around pointing out the issues of others and you have a forest growing in your face.

With Your God

Remember your citizenship.

Back to Haiti again.

We were on a 6 day trip in the mountains. It was glorious. By far, one of my favorite memories. And during a time of worship on the 2nd or 3rd night, one of the students came up to me and asked me a very thoughtful question.

“What do we call you?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Do we call you Pastor, Teacher, Director, what should we call you?”

Technically, I was their teacher, and director, I wasn’t really a pastor although I acted like one so I guess that meant I qualified.

“fre Taylor” I said.

“Call me brother. I am your director, I am your teacher, and I’m waking alongside of you like a Pastor, but before all of that, I’m your brother. When we get to Heaven, I’m not gonna be your pastor, teacher or director, but I’ll definitely be your brother.”

Fight for the things that unite us.

Allow your heavenly citizenship to define your life and your identity above everything else.

Galatians 3:26-28, Colossians 3:10-11, 1 Cor. 12:13-14

“There is neither Greek nor Jew, Slave nor Free, Man nor Woman, but you are all one in Christ if indeed you have put on Christ.”

Was there Greeks and Jews? yes.

Were there slave and free? yes.

were there male and female? yes.

so what is Paul saying?

God has broken down the dividing barrier of Greeks and Jews, Slave and Free, Male and Female.  He has broken the division down through the cross of Jesus Christ and made us one.

Being in the family of God should define us and unite us more than the things that are different about us.

So, there is neither slave nor free, male nor female, Greek nor Jew, and dare I say, black nor white….

It’s interesting how much, as believers, we contend for the temporary things and ignore the eternal things.

2 Peter 1:14 says we will take off this “tabernacle” or “tent” (referring to our body) and put on “immortality”

I have some great news everyone.

We’re gonna get a new body!

We’re gonna remove this body and get a spiritual body, yet we are so passionate to allow the color of our skin to define the way we think, act and live instead of allowing the Bible to determine it.  Remember that our life is quick, like a “vapor” the Bible says. If you compare our life on earth with eternity, our life on earth pales in comparison.

How can I leverage the way God has made me to advance His kingdom and promote unity? That’s the real question.

Each of us is different, and each of you are absolutely beautiful! You are made in the image of God! You are marvelous! Let’s celebrate that and honor the image of God in everyone.

Instead of attaching your life to the color of your skin, leverage it for the kingdom.

You’ve been uniquely crafted in such a way to reach a group of people I could never reach…

Love

“love like you’ve never been hurt before.”

quote from an RSOM student. (I would’ve liked to take credit for it, but can’t)

Romans 12:21, 1 Peter 4:8, and Colossians 3:14…just to name a few…speak that Love covers a multitude of sins, and it is the bond of perfection.

Love is the answer. Jesus is the answer.

In a time of elevated hopelessness, the world is waging war with the weapons of earth, the carnal weapons.

As believers, no matter what color you are, we are called to be Love.

As I was talking about this subject of racism with a group of friends, one of them, who wants to remain anonymous, shared something very powerful.  She’s black and she’s over 70 years old. She’s personally seen and experienced a lot of racism in her life.

Here’s what she said:

“I come from another perspective on this whole thing that’s going on because I’ve lived through so much of it my whole life.  My focus the last few weeks have been on listening to all of the things that were said against these officers and what they did.  And then I listened to the family of George Floyd and how they responded. And they responded in such a way that was so unifying to our Country.  So that just blew me away.  The lord brought to mind to me the officers and he said to me, “Can you love them?”

“Can you love those officers?”

And so he gave me Matthew 5, which Jesus says, “you have heard it said you shall love your neighbors and hate your enemies, but I say to you, love your enemies and do good to those who hurt you, persecute you and pray for those who spitefully use you.” Then you shall be perfect. 

Then He would call us His Sons and Daughters.

He has called me and asked me that I have to speak about His love.  As children of God we have to proclaim that message of unity and love for everyone, no matter what they’ve done.  The focus has been so much lately on what we’ve gone through, and we have…I have.  But I want to love everyone, I want to be as forgiving of them as God is towards me.  It doesn’t mean there won’t be consequences done for them.  And it doesn’t mean that God won’t see that those consequences are executed. But I’m not the Judge.  I’m not the one who condemns.  I’m not the one who can say anything, because I’ve done terrible things in my life…and God has forgiven me.  That’s where I am right now and I haven’t been able to move from that point of hearing what the Lord is saying in this time to me…and I believe to the church.

Simple. Basic. True.

Love. That’s it. That’s what matters.

So let me ask you a final question.

In the midst of everything going on, how is God asking you to Be Love? to shine bright? to stick out among the crowd? and to be the beautiful example of Jesus Christ to this desperately wicked world?

What did this look like? I wondered. What did it look like for me, a white person, to speak up on the topic of racism?

Did it mean I needed to post #blacklivesmatter? Did it mean I needed to get out on the streets and protest? Did it mean I needed to feel guilty and ashamed for not previously speaking up in the past about it? Did I need to stand in solidarity? God what do you want me to do?

“Teach about it.” He spoke to me.

Me? A privileged white male? Teach about racism? You’ve got to be kidding me. What could I possibly offer that would benefit the black community on the topic of racism?

Thus began my time with God, asking Him to show me His heart and what I could say.

My main question to God in preparation of my teaching was this, “God, what’s Your heart on this matter? and how should we, as the people of God, respond to this injustice?”

Here is my answer…..

Background

My dad was in the military for 21 years. My “in-group” was anyone else who had parents in the military. I grew up in places like England, Germany and several different states within the U.S.A. I can remember my best friends growing up when I spent all of my elementary school in Germany. Walter, Michael and Alvin. White, Black and Hispanic.

I can confidently say that I don’t remember experiencing direct racism in my life until about 5 years ago, when our family moved to Haiti and lived there for 2 1/2 years. Talk about feeling like the minority! There were about 25 or so white people and the rest of our small town was Haitian, black. Maybe 30,000-40,000 total.

A few weeks ago I walked my kids through an exercise. I wanted them to be able to grow in empathy in feeling what it might feel like to be under the weight of oppression their whole lives. So I started the conversation with the only way I knew how, with a great question that came from Andrea.

“Kids, has there ever been a time in your life that you were treated differently than you had expected to be treated?”

There was a resounding yes, and I then asked, “when was that time?” “Haiti,” all of them responded.

“Tell me about that time.”

“I remember when there were Haitian kids outside our house and they wanted to come in through our gates.” Isaiah responded. “I had told them no, and they picked up rocks and threw them at me. I remember getting hit in the head with some of those rocks….I’ll never forget that.”

“I remember going into town one time,” Rachel spoke up, “and there was a group of Haitians who began pointing at me and just laughing at me.”

We all shared different stories of our time in Haiti when we, as minorities, had experienced some form of prejudice or racism.

Next, I asked them this question, “What would you feel like if you had been experiencing things like that for your entire life? In fact, think about this, how would you feel if your grandparents experienced that, me and your mother, then you and afterwards your kids and then your grand-kids?”

The responses were real and authentic, which I champion in our household.

“I’d feel hopeless and want to run away with my family and build a shelter on an island away from everyone.”

“I’d feel angry and want to hurt them all.”

“I’d call the police.”

“What if you couldn’t call the police?” I chimed in….”what if you didn’t trust the police, what if you felt the police were out to harm you, not protect you? What if there were no police?”

“Then I’d get a machine gun and guard my house.”

The weight of the room suddenly became real and heaviness filled our house.

“Maybe that’s what the black community feels like…” I said.

Silence.

It suddenly became real. The pain, the hurt, the prejudice, the injustice. It became real for the Taylors.

“You guys have experienced a form of racism for a little over 2 years,” I said. “But think about those people who have experienced it their whole lives and for generations. We will probably never truly know what that feels like.”

I told the kids that I couldn’t speak for the entire black community, because I dare not categorize and group everyone together, however I can guess many might feel that way.

The first step, I believe, in speaking up about racism, especially if you’re someone who hasn’t experienced much of it in your life, is to grow in empathy.

If you look at the scriptures, Jesus was often “filled with compassion” for others. It was this filling of compassion that then led Him toward action and to actually do something to help others.

The first part of my teaching that God led me to is “how to grow in empathy” and then, only after we can actually put ourselves in the shoes of another person, can we look at “how to respond Biblically.”

Growing in Empathy

7 years ago, I made a radical change in my life that some, if not many of you reading this know about. God literally invited me to move to San Diego. At the time, our family was living in Colorado. I had a pretty amazing career of 10 years where my wife could be a home-maker, we lived close to most of our family and we owned our first house…well, the bank owned it, but I guess you could say we were “home-owners” which is a fancy word for saying we have a mortgage.

I was invited, by God, to sell my house, leave our family, quit my career and move to California, where I only knew one person…one of my very closest friends from College whom I have now had the privilege to know for 20 years. It was a bold move, full of risk and fear. But I had been reading lots of books and the Bible, and had grown what I like to call a “holy dissatisfaction” with my current life. Not that my job wasn’t good, or that my family wasn’t good, or that life wasn’t comfortable. It was that my life didn’t seem to appear congruent with the lifestyle of what Jesus commands and what the disciples lived out.

There was a major gap and I wasn’t sure how to fill it, I just knew that I needed to do something!

Thus enters the discipleship school in San Diego. God wrecked me during that process, not necessarily because the school was so amazing, which it was, or that the people were so joyful, which they were, but mostly, I believe, because my heart was ready for God’s Spirit to go to work and I positioned myself into a place where He could do it!

One of the most important things I learned in my time at Impact 195 was James 1:19-20. “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”

1. Quick to Listen

This is all about being “eager to hear someone else’s perspective.”

The other day we were playing a game at the table, Marvel Fluxx, which has quickly become a family favorite. Rachel began crying, literally, tears were dripping down her cheeks and puddles of them began to form on the table. “you don’t play with us like you used to,” she told Malachi, “we just used to have so much fun together and now you spend so much time on the computer.” I quickly discovered that my 12 yr old daughter was mourning the childhood of her big bro. She missed being “kids” with him and boy was she expressing it!

Later that day, I was on a walk with Malachi and I asked him if he had “heard” his sister’s heart because at the table he was real quick to defend his point of view about how the games were too childish and didn’t have the proper boundaries on them.

“I think so.” He said. “Malachi,” I responded, “you don’t have to feel like you need to defend your point of view, your sister’s not mad at you, and you don’t need to feel guilty about what’s happening and what she said. But I encourage you to “hear” her heart. Listen to what she’s saying, see her heart for you and be eager to get a full understanding of what she’s experiencing and expressing. And do this without planning a response to defend yourself or your perspective.”

This is what we need to do in our interaction with others.

2. Slow to Speak

This is all about being “slow to share our perspective or point of view.”

I remember in Haiti, when Haitians would get into an argument, generally speaking, it felt very different from how we handle arguments in the states. Most of us here, bury how we really feel deep down and then gossip about it to other people while staying silent to the person who actually offended us. Well, from what I witnessed in Haiti, that was a very different story. People told each other how they felt, big-time! Having yelling blow-ups in the middle of the street for all who watched seemed like a daily activity.

Both of these reactions, although being different, show the same thing. Whether we are “blowing someone up” with what we think or gossiping about them behind their back. They both reveal that we are not ‘slow to speak.’

In reality, we just want to be heard and we want to make a statement doing it. “I just need to vent.” Really? Why don’t we try venting to God? He can handle it, yet so few times we pray these trite, tired and disingenuous”prayers” to a Holy God and look to people to “get stuff off our chest.”

The second step is to be slow to share our perspective, let’s listen with a genuine heart to hear the other person out and not be so eager to respond from our vantage point.

3. Slow to anger

This is all about “being slow to an emotionally charged response.”

It was hot, like any other day in Haiti, but this day was different. It felt different.

We were hosting a team from the states and we were in one of the poorest neighborhoods of Jeremie, putting roofs on homes that had none. The sun was setting and we were told we needed to get out, fast! I ended up staying to finish a roof with a few of my Haitian brothers. The teams left, but I couldn’t leave without finishing the job to get this roof done for this woman who was handicapped. It was dark when we got done and we began to pack up and get out. As my friend and I drove the streets, we ended up coming to a roadblock. Several tires set on fire blocking the streets were at many different points and finding a path out was difficult. We tried one more route and as I was driving, I saw a group of probably 100 or more Haitians coming towards me. This was pretty intense for me because I really didn’t know what was going on.

I just began praying as we slowly drove through the crowd of people that swarmed around my vehicle and heard lots of yelling and banging on the vehicle…

There’s a lot more to the story, but I made it home and shortly after that, found out that there had been a Haitian Governor who was extradited to the U.S.A. This man was wanted on all sorts of criminal charges, but he was also a hero to the town we lived in. The next day, there was a mob of hundreds of hostile Haitians who were ‘seeking’ out any American’s to execute vengeance on what the U.S.A. had done to their criminal hero.

I had never ever been more aware of the color of my skin than during that time.

Emotionally-charge responses…even though this man was wanted for 19 years of criminal charges, and the Haitian police were the ones actually involved in capturing this guy, what was heard and seen was that the U.S.A. took him away from his people. Therefore all the American’s need to suffer. This was crazy, because, well my guess is, that just about every American who goes to Haiti is there to help them. I don’t think Americans are running away from luxury to the poorest country in the western hemisphere for a ‘vacation.’

The Bible says God is slow to anger…we are God’s children and we are commanded to be imitators of God…that means we are commanded to be slow to anger too. This doesn’t mean we hold our anger in, or suppress our emotions, but we should be so filled with the Spirit of the Living God that when circumstances come at us and people irritate us, that the love, joy, peace and patience of God spills out from within us.

Otherwise, I guess we just look like the world.

Click Right here to get to Part 2 of this Post “Responding Biblically”…

Jesus said in John 5:17 “My Father is always at his work to this very day…”

Our Father is at His work, Jesus saw it and was in agreement with that work.

I love it when I get to experience seeing my Father at work and then coming alongside of Him, to work with Him on what He’s doing.

Caleb, our 8 yr old loves it too!

When we were in Haiti, I discovered that I enjoy using wood and building with it. Every time I was outside working on a project, there was little Caleb right beside me. He saw me at work…and joined me. He had his hammer, with nails, hitting them into wood. He did his very best to build something and that often ended up looking like a piece of wood with a bunch of nails sticking out of it, hammered halfway in. It often didn’t look pretty but was so fun to do together. Recently, Caleb and I have been working on a small wood project together, and he loves doing it with me.

Don’t you just love joining God in what He’s doing?

This past week I was able to witness how God was at work within my family and I wanted to share this story with you.

About 2 weeks ago, I was really tired and asleep on my bed during the daytime when I woke up to Caleb sitting next to me. He had grabbed a stack of cards that are on my nightstand and began reading them one by one, meticulously and thoroughly. He read one, set it down, then read another and set that one down until he went through the entire pack. These cards are what we call declaration cards. They are filled with biblical truths that I declare over my life and over my family. The Bible says that “death and life are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat it’s fruit.” I’m grateful that the church we are a part of and the ministry we serve in takes this verse seriously and encourages speaking truth from our mouths. So that’s what we do, we’re not always perfect at it, but we are strengthened and encouraged when we walk in this practice faithfully.

A few days later, Caleb comes up to me and hands me 3 pennies. I looked at him and asked him what this was for and he told me that he wanted to help with paying our rent. I looked at the 3 pennies in his hand and asked him if he was sure and he said yes (his mind was made up!). I was so moved by his heart that I gave him a big hug and thanked him. He went his way and I looked at those pennies and knew these were special. I couldn’t just throw the change on my nightstand like I normally do, they had to go in my wallet so Caleb would know that I cherished it. His heart to see a need and help had moved me to tears.

A couple days later I was teaching at the Rock School of Ministry. It was my last class in the gospel of Mark. Afterward, the class prayed for me and one of the students got a word for me and had seen an image when we were praying. She said that she saw a picture frame, but just the corners of one and the wood was highlighted. She shared that she saw the corners of the frame multiplying and moving outwards. She asked if that meant anything to me. I shared with her that I enjoy working with wood, that I’m no expert but it’s a hobby of mine. I shared that Caleb has also has a passion for wood working and ever since Haiti, has enjoyed being with me in those projects that I work on. Her eyes lit up and said, “I know what it means.” She said that Caleb will be the one inheriting my anointing and ministry from the Lord. And that the ministry that he will receive from me will be multiplied through him. So I was encouraged to continue investing in him, and with the knowledge of this, to build him up for it. This word was very encouraging and I could see, out of all my 4 children, how Caleb could definitely step into a pastoral and teaching role.

The final part of this story happened three days after that prophetic word. Sunday rolled around and we went to service like usual. With Malachi, Rachel and Isaiah, we give them the option every week to go into the Kids church or to be with us. Malachi and Rachel are so used to it, they’re mostly with us, Isaiah goes back and forth and Caleb has been in kids church every week. Caleb has been asking me lately to come in and be in the service with us and I’ve told him not yet. This Sunday I felt like it was the right time so I told him he could be in the service with us if he wanted to. He said yes.

At the end of the message our Pastor gave an opportunity to be born again; to pray to receive Christ and walk forward to the altar. After the pastor prayed, Caleb looked at me and said, “Daddy, I prayed, can I stand up and walk up front?” I asked him a question to qualify if he knew what it meant. “Do you know why people are going up front Caleb?” I asked. “Those are people who want to ask Jesus to forgive them and to give their entire life to Jesus, they are asking Jesus to lead their life.” “Do you want to do that?” He said “yes.” and I said, “go for it buddy!” He looked at me and asked if I could go with him. I said yes, but in the past I know he has struggled with being embarrassed and caring too much of what other people think. So I said, “yes buddy I’ll go with you, but why don’t you start walking up there by yourself first?” I wanted him to have victory over that struggle. So he got up straight away, and walked to the front all by himself. He didn’t hesitate. Shortly after I joined him up there. It was glorious to be a part of this moment, as his dad.

We went to the back room where they offer prayer for those people who have made that decision and the man asked Caleb, “why did you come forward today?” Caleb said he had forgotten and then thought for a moment…. “I felt the love of God,” he said, “and I want to be born again”…so simple, yet so profound.

I love the fact that Caleb can’t communicate the doctrine and theology of who God is, he doesn’t get all the complexities of life that we as adults get wrapped up in, and he doesn’t get that 3 pennies won’t really help much with rent at all, but he experienced God and he gets that he needs to be born again, and that’s enough.

I share this to invite you to celebrate with us for Caleb!

4 years ago in the Dominican Republic, God gave me a verse, Psalm 127:3-5 and told me that my children will be shot out like fiery arrows, that they will advance the kingdom of God and take territory for Him.

This is an answer to our prayers for him and part of the fulfillment of that word God gave me in the DR. Caleb still has issues of the heart, just like us all, and it’s a process, but we are so excited that he is beginning his journey with God.

I love that Caleb will get to experience what I experience with God. I love that he can Know God and worship Him. I love that he can experience pleasures forevermore and fullness of joy. I love that he has a God-given purpose, a calling on his life that is bigger than I know.

We are looking forward with eager expectation!

Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to be a hamster on a hamster wheel? Constantly running and getting nowhere? I’ve personally thought about this analogy many times in my life especially when my husband reminds me that the definition of insanity is doing something over and over again while expecting different results. Yep! I’ve done that so many times. I think for me, the area of my life that I’ve felt that over and over again is in parenting. Especially when we went from 2 to 3 kids! I think that I fell into so many different ruts. A lot of that was my desire to keep things consistent and that setting a pattern in everything was just easier for me to handle. At that time in our lives Aaron was working 50-60 hours a week and I was struggling with trying to be mom and dad. Praise Jesus that after the move to attend The Rock School of Ministry (formerly Impact 195) we both re-defined our roles as parents and began the journey of truly parenting together.

But often I still find myself in ruts. And the common rut that comes up is helping my children learn to reconcile. It has been such a beautiful journey we’ve been on to re-define so much in our lives over the past 7 years. Knowing how to truly reconcile has been one of the most freeing truths we will hold on to. As we’ve learned at the Rock School of Ministry (RSOM) about the pursuit to reconcile our relationship with God and others, we’ve been so excited to continue to equip our children how to walk in that now. What we’ve experienced at the school over and over again is that almost every single adult that comes in faces brokenness in their relationships and severe pain in their heart. Many of them have never had freedom from the bondage of bitterness, which has resulted in depression, anger, loneliness and physical health problems. So when I grabbed onto this truth I realized that a lot of our issues as adults stem way back into our youth. Into places we didn’t realize were still not healed. And the Lord really spoke to my heart about teaching the most precious disciples we have, our children, how to learn to reconcile their hearts and be free.

One day recently my boys were in the midst of what seemed like world war 3! For a few weeks, things were getting worse and worse, especially between Isaiah and Malachi. To the point where one day while serving at RSOM, Isaiah and Malachi got into a fight and Isaiah punched Malachi several times. This was a new level of anger we had never experienced in Isaiah before. To everyone around it seemed like Isaiah was the only one to blame…and truthfully I thought the same for a long time. But as we’ve learned, when we dig into the whole story we often find that Malachi provokes verbally and Isaiah retaliates physically. The anger of our sweet boy seemed so devastating.

So a few days after this fight I was sitting here…in my homeschooling desk…and Isaiah came up talking to me about some issue he had with Malachi. I knew in my heart that I needed to do something new. Something I’d not established as a habit with Isaiah. I needed to step off that hamster wheel. I was a bit nervous…but I’ve seen God do amazing things over and over before in regards to this topic.

So I asked Isaiah to come with me privately into a separate room. We sat down and I asked him if we could just pray. He said, “sure”. So we asked the Holy Spirit to begin to poor out peace over both of us. I prayed that the Holy Spirit would begin to reveal to Isaiah areas in his past where he was hurt. Places where he didn’t realize he had not forgiven someone. And it didn’t take long…Isaiah began to share “I remember when we were in Haiti. When I went to the Haitian school and everyone laughed at me and treated me bad for being white. And I see myself when I was really little and Malachi wouldn’t play with me and that hurt me.”

It was so simple. That’s all it needed to be. There clearly was an open door to bitterness and the Holy Spirit brought it up.

“Watch over each other to make sure that no one misses the revelation of God’s grace. And make sure no one lives with a root of bitterness sprouting within them which will only cause trouble and poison the hearts of many.” – Hebrews 12:15 (TPT)

So I walked Isaiah through forgiving the children at the Haitian school and then as he was saying “I forgive Malachi…I forgive Malachi for hurting me…” He began weeping. I could feel how powerful that moment was. I could feel the freedom my son was receiving. And it overwhelmed me. We both were crying as I laid hands on him and prayed that each spot of his soul would heal and that he would be free from every root of bitterness. We prayed that the Holy Spirit would fill him and he instantly just relaxed and held on to me. So much joy filled that room. So much freedom.

About an hour later Isaiah came to me and just as Isaiah does, and said

“Wow…I didn’t know I had that hate in me.”

It’s not a formula. It’ Jesus! Learning the way Jesus lived. Learning the way He walked and healed and led people into freedom has completely changed our family. Isaiah has not struggled in weeks with outburst towards Malachi at all. He has even had moments when he rubs Malachi’s shoulders and says “I love you so much, Malachi. I just feel like we’re going to have so much fun together today.” This is an incredible testimony and at the same time, I understand freedom is more of a journey than a destination. This is discipleship and we are going to constantly need to guide our children and seek the Lord in what to do as they continue to grow into who they are called to be.

Malachi has reconciled a few moments with Isaiah, but we’re still praying for them to have one of the most wonderful bonds brothers can have. It’s so sweet to see how the Lord gave us relationships. I believe that the sweetest ones we often dismiss because they are so much harder are the ones within our family. One of the reasons they are so much harder is because there is such power when we walk through the fire with our siblings and our parents and become refined and united for the Kingdom of God together. So the enemy comes after that and sadly, we often agree that it’s too hard, and friends outside the family are better because…well…it’s not as hard.

Maybe I’ll write more about what God is teaching me in that area another day, but I’m so grateful for the freedom Jesus paid for. It was absolutely the love of Jesus that moved through the Holy Spirit in Isaiah’s obedience to forgive.

I hope this story has encouraged you to pursue greater freedom in your life and in the lives of those around you and to know that God can redeem even the most challenging relationships.

Transformation. 

That is what our hearts seek when we know the love of the Father. We seek to be truly transformed into His image…into His heart…into His desires. 

It is truly breathtaking to be a part of someone else’s transformation. It is an honor we are truly unworthy of. And this last class that just was commissioned at The Rock School of Ministry really brought us to a place of true awe in the mighty, loving hand of the Father and His guidance for those who choose Him and seek Him. 

If you were able to be present or to watch the commissioning ceremony “live” on Facebook, you would see some of the evidence of what He did in the lives of a few of the students. I just want to highlight one story that literally shows the heart of the Father for restoration.

In the beginning of the term I meet the women that I will be mentoring and one of them hit my heart. Her name is Trina and she was like a kid in a candy store. So hungry and excited for what God would do in her life. And yet what surprised me the most was that she had recently filed for divorce with her husband and was happily waiting for it to be final. She came into the marriage with two sons and her and her current husband had a daughter together. If you would meet them and ask if they were Christians they would both say “Yes, no doubt.” He went to the same church as her, just a different service. And Sunday was what qualified them as Christians. Other than believing in Jesus, there was little lifestyle change or heart change because Sunday was enough. And they both came into the marriage with hurt from others and then hurt from each other. Without dealing with the past pain and unforgiveness, these roots of bitterness lashed out like sharp swords at each other and at their children. So they took what seemed to be the easy way out. Divorce.

To be upfront with you all, I had really no idea how to approach this. You see…divorce isn’t really talked about in churches I’ve gone to. So this issue was a heavy one and not easy for me. As I dug into His word, what I first looked at was “law” in the old testament and what Jesus said in the New Testament. And it still left me wondering…what is His heart? Last year Aaron and I were super blessed to attend our first marriage retreat and the key speakers were Montell & Kristin Jordan (yes…he sang “This is how we do it” back in ’95…) The conference was INCREDIBLE! The absolute most down to earth, raw, unfiltered, God-centered marriage talk ever. And the one thing that stuck with me was that after all he had done with so many women, she heard the Lord and dug deep into His heart for true forgiveness. It was painful…but wasn’t the cross way more painful? And after they both walked through it they saw the heart of God in the Old Testament. His heart is all over scripture that He is the restorer of ALL relationships. His heart is absolutely for marriage. And so Aaron and I committed to take any possible idea of divorce off the table in our marriage, no matter what. To really seek His heart and reflect Him in our marriage, this decision had to be made. 

So every week as I met with Trina and the other women stuff came up. As she began to heal wounds from her childhood and re-define the image of God as Father. Her heart was growing in enormous ways. She was becoming more tender, yet still refused to call him “husband” and still refused to place him above her two sons and their daughter. It truly felt like each week the Lord would give us scripture that hit home and began to minister to her heart. Then we had a one day marriage event at church…and one of the main speakers just so happened to be…Montell & Kristin Jordan! WHAT? Trina went with us! Oh how we wanted her husband to come…but God knew. I loved how when a word came from the speaker directly to Trina she just laughed her loudest! The Holy Spirit was moving and we just got to be along for the ride. Just saying yes, I’m all in for these children of yours Dad! What an honor to see! 

And then a few weeks later we hit the halfway mark for our students. It seems that that has often been where they feel like they are in the valley and things just get tough. But it’s so so good to be in that valley. So at the end of our mentor meeting, out of the blue, Trina says “I’m done. I’m so ready for the divorce. I will be so happy when it’s over.” It shocked us all! After so many heart to heart conversations and seeing her finally praying for her husband it took me by surprise. Even after seeing her understand the truth about marriage being a higher priority than her kids…I couldn’t believe she was done.

So I looked at her and just said with all the love He gave me and restored me with, “I can’t be excited for that. I just can’t. His heart is to restore. And He placed you in this ministry, at this time when you’re about to get those papers done, not by coincidence.” I believe that I would have been a bad reflection of Him if I just said “I’ll pray for you” or “I hope you have peace in that choice,” leaving her without truth.

He desires to restore…EVERYTHING. And He clearly says marriage is a reflection of our relationship to Jesus…so why wouldn’t I fight for that relationship to stay together? How powerful and anointed our marriages should be? How absolutely special is it that He shows us how to walk faithful to Jesus and yet we think we can just stop trying to restore our marriages. Jesus never gives up on us…ever. We talked a while and then after class she met with another team member. They talked for over an hour and the Lord gave them both a sweet vision from Him. And literally…when they got done praying Trina said she would cancel the divorce!!! JESUS!!!!

When I got the call that she decided and was firm that she was done with the divorce I couldn’t stop freaking out. It was like watching someone find the loving, free forgiveness of Jesus Christ for the first time. Still makes me cry. As the school continued she came wearing her wedding ring and calling him her husband just melted my heart. I can only imagine how joyful God was looking at this amazing testimony that reflects His love for us. So, this story I’m sharing with you could only end with a beautiful outward commitment to each other. So at our commissioning ceremony, Trina’s husband was a part of the ceremony and pinned her on stage and said that he loved her. 

Since then, Aaron and I have gotten to hear how he felt when Trina came home and said she was canceling the divorce. He was shocked. And he was so grateful. They both are a beautiful couple and we’re so stinkin excited to see all that they both will do for His kingdom together. This is not the end of their story, God is redeeming their family now and we believe God is going to use their story of marital restoration to heal countless others, their testimony is so powerful and it will not be wasted!